BismiLah al-Rahman al-Raheem...
continuous thoughts ramble in my mind, so where shall I began.
Thought #1: Maktoob: now i fully understand the point(s). May ALlah protect us from those who do mischief. I once thought I knew what was good for me, nevertheless made Tajahud with a continuous du3a2 to give me or grant me that something (lol)! Even at that moment when you think you know best, Sub7anaAllah, the reasons why the things don't work out they way you wished them to only pop out years later. Then you make numerous prayers to Allah thanking THE for the protection and mercy He chose to give you.
... I try hard to let Allah lead me through the right path in life, where I pray on almost every decision to be made. However, there comes a time where I try to push for something that later on it's not in my fate (and All along my heart is not feeling it). I know I would not be where I am today if I chose the other way, and Sub7anaAllah, my deen has manifested my heart with the consistent growth rate each day that passes by.
Thought #2: The time has come: the "I Do's". Potentials are hitting my curb, some knocking and some wishing to peek through the window. The "Peekers" dissapoint me badly. Those are the once that try to be cool but are so insecure inside, its not even funny. It's like this, they don't know what they want so they want to see how the weather is around you to judge if the like it or not. Garbage talk that leads the girl on, and then the dissapointing smile pops up when you find out that your not the only one he's doing it to. WOW. If only they knew that my parents know everything. Nevertheless, especially when its known that the guy is religious, mature, and a great potential. I almost blurted out a laugh when such comments were made, not as a judgmental thing, but 'if the only knew. ' I mean come'on: for all those seekers out there: fine, you want to test the weather, talk max 3 days, then give in or give up. Be what I call the real M&M (Muslim Man). Say your intentions and if she's interested also, break the door down to ask for her dad's blessings, cause for sho you will get God's.
MashaAllah to those who do it the straight way: through the doors, except i'm a little dissapointed on that crowd too. There comes a time in a man's life to pop in his mind the want to get married, and trust me, it doesn't come when your 35 years old. If so: ask your self if your a man! Unless there was an important reason for the wait (such as taking care of immediate family), don't come with baggage and say you want to finally settle, then come to find a much younger girl who hadn't experience it all! oh...with their favorite sentence or belief of all "I want to raise her in between my hands [biddi rabiha min bein iday]"......... GROSSSSS!
It makes me feel he wants to adopt a child rather then marry a partner for life! ok Mr.King, do you want a Queen or a "maid of honor"!?!?!?!?!!?
Thought #3: oh i'm getting there: Culture constraint. this one it's going to be long. There is a reason why we call this "AMERICA." Not only to get a great education and a great job, but where mashaAllah all the cultures come together and we can safely call ourselves Muslims (well not safely anymore, stupid 9-11 had to come and ruin it) What happens when you grew up with daisies, middle easterns, europeans, asians, and other cultures and none from your own culuture? Yes, you pick up alot of their wonderful traditions and call them your own. But what happens when your mom suddenly pops that ballon on your face and flies out of it a tiny piece of paper that sais "ALGERIAN'S ONLY!" All confused and all, you ask WHY??????
answer: "well, what if you decided to go back!" or "your a girl, your children will not be algerians!" DO I CARE????!?!??!!?!?!?!? I want my children to be Muslims first, and hey, they will be double smarter because they know more than one culture and one language! Oh Lord, save me on this one. In every culture, there will be bad and good people, and stigmas that are attached to one culture do not necessary follow through to ALL. yes it will be hard for both man and his wife to be different culture, but if both agree that Traditions of Islam (sunna) will be the standard to built their household on the Quran and SUnna, then I don't imagine it to be that hard.
In fact, other cultures interest me greatly. I'm constantly reading books from different authors from all over the world, buying different cultural costumes. I love Sari's and Sharwal Kamis, and 3abayas of middle easterns, and so on. At least the sharwal kamis preserve the rules of hijab much better then algerian clothing (bakini's when bordering the water then slipping the Jalaba when walking south toward home!)
A scenario of two different cultures' lives: happy dudily couples, and OOPPSS there comes EID. a round table with the kids advance on making a group decision, yes, the first eid we will spend it with the wife's family and the eid adh-7a with the father's family, or visa versa. yup, THAT'S IT!... we have only 2 important holyday's, so dont' grump about it! is that what your parents are afraid of??? yes... my parents, even though they were both algerian, had to travel 5 hours to visit my mother's family. Now with the advanced technology of AIRPLANES (alhamdoulillah) 5 hours you'll be in a different continent.
oh.....and "what if WORLD WAR 3 happened, now where would you go?" and that's when I start making tasbee7, lower head in between my palms and recite the quran to save myself from combustion and turning to a green vegetable.
So my dad does not care of where the guy is from (alhamdoulillah) as long as he is Muslim, financially stable. As for my Mom, I gave her my long life Notice that I care not of where the guy is from but of his degree of religion and deen and is he going to lead with me a life to paradise. I know in the end is what Allah wants, so with any decision is made inshaAllah its for the best.
Thought #4: I wish i was a superwoman. I wish I had the power to heal people and make them forget their pain. Aside from being an engineer, I want to go around the world provide a survice that would help people. I want to adopt at least 2 children. After visiting some Iraqi refugees 2 weeks ago, the need to help was born again. The pain on their faces became clear to me that the world out there is shedding tears, while people in America are finding the great pleasure in swimming and bathing in it. When ever I try to speak my voice and lend my hand, my mother always on my back saying "you should becareful, its not safe"! WHY....WHY when my brothers and sisters in need that i provide help is not SAFE?!?!?!? I cry... lots are afraid to help! rather be afraid to walk in the streets, or ruiing your reputations, but not afraid to help for the sake of Allah, and to only Him we belong and return. God numerously reminded of us of Zakat and helping the masakeen, why are we inclined to not do so. My sadness can not be described in few little words..... and so i rest my case!
Sub7anaAllah, writing down my thoughts released a knot in my mind and heart. My breath flows out in ease, Alhamdoulillah. Writing sometimes does what tears don't do. However, the greatest thing of all is the prayer and da3awat to Allah-u Sub7anahu wa ta3ala...
so i end with this
"Allahu ma Sali 3ala Muhamed wa 3ala ali Muhamed, kama salayta 3ala ibrahim wa 3ala ali Ibrahim, wa barik 3ala Muhamed wa 3ala ali Muhamed, kama barakta 3ala ibrahim wa 3ala ali Ibrahim, Innaka al-Majidul al-7amid. Oh Allah, forgive our sins and grant us paredise ya Al-ghafuru al-Raheem. Please help people in need and help us all in the day of judgment. a3tina 7asana fil awel wal akhir and protect us from hell and grant us paredise....amen"
`3affaf
IV. Let go...and Be
15 years ago